音乐

插上耳机，音乐带我到另一个世界，每首歌重复听三遍。
（一个就一个，手空着就开车。。。）
电话铃铃响，门铃叮咚响，管他的印度大姐广告攻势，还是总是找错地址的清洁工人。
（慢慢呼吸，越慢越美丽。。。）
今晚不煮晚餐，好吗？可以吗？面对满冰箱黄了一角的菜，我好想哭。。
（someone once told me that you have to choose what you win or lose you cant have everything...）
I'm just tryna be happy.
（天上的星星笑地上的人 总是不能懂不能知道足够。。。）
其实幸福很简单，就是减去所有消极的，乘以美好的。
（两人手一牵，命运就改变）
........................

Good people vs. bad people

I met good people and bad people in melbourne.
I felt bad and upset when I once saw a pizza teenage girl who served impatiently and raised her voice freaking high to an old folk. The poor old man pointed at the pizza slices on the food shelf with his trembling right hand while holding a wood stick in his left hand. This picture haunted me for weeks and I can remember still vividly his trembling pointer swifted disobediently and the stonyhearted glimpse on the lovely face of the girl.
I met another chinese waitress in Boxhill who ruined my beautiful Saturday and gave me a bonus of arguement with Chris. The psychotic woman (I'm still mad of her)refused to confess the wrong order and yet YELLED at me. She insisted I ordered the bloody 'dong ning cha' which I actually orderd a 'dong nai cha'. And she gave the wrong order to the customer next table to me and she kept denying at first and lastly the guy showed her the order sheet, which finally shutted her machine-gunned mouth. The incident ended up with an angry me burning in hatred hell fire launching a complaint to her co-workers after I failed to meet her manager in the peak lunch hour and the 'dong ning cha'is replaced. Not a happy ending because I left behind the food and headed back straight to home with a scattered shopping mood.
I met an asshole on Airasia flight to Melbourne in January who claimed the empty seat between me and him was 50%-50% belonged respectively when Chris intended to switch to that seat. I was poor at English speaking that time and I gave up to argue with him. However, Jing, my sister in law had some arguements with him and he was kinda a jerk who gave all sorts of ridiculous and idiotic excuses and he finally blasted out saying that he rather to sit on the empty seat and purposely want to separate me and Chris. A bad trip indeed and I suffered the severe stomachache after having the Nasi Lemak late at midnight. :-(
Anyway, don't give up. There is always a bright side on every happening, just like there is good people out there too.
I was somehow lost on my way home today because I can't find the bus stop to get me to the main road. I asked a couple who was resting after their tennis session for direction and they were too kind to offer me their MAC to search for the bus route. But unfortunately the bus stop just not there as the web indicated. So i thanked them and tried for luck on another end of road.I headed to the direction of the couple again after a guy directed me to the nearby train station. I waved at the couple and signed them that I was heading to the station.
'Hey!!!' a voice hold me and I slowered down my paces under the hot sun. It was her, Lily, the wife, asking me if I don't mind then they most probably can drop me off at the main road. I hesitated and couldn't resist their sincerity and I nodded. I was lucky to chat with them, friendly Lily and Mr Lily(too hard to remember his name and that's the way he called himself). Thank you, Mr Lily and Lily, thanks for a beautiful heart like the scent of lily flower, you have made my day. :-)

乱说

今天这个鬼天气，把湿漉漉的衣服在2个小时之内给烘干了，更不用说我哪干得可看到细纹的皮肤，希望它不要‘龟裂’就行了， 可怕！！
反复听了好几遍green day 的 21 guns, 他们是我最近喜欢上的soft rock band，把我心情带上天。自闭了太久，懒散了，也只有音乐可以和我相依为命了。目标阿目标，为什么你离我那么远？还是我根本都不知道你是什么东东？为什么我这么懒，这么堕落，好像根本没劲去追求你？也许病了11天，病傻了。
也许傻了更好，即时天崩地裂，大喜大悲都与我无关。酱悲观嚒？讨厌的自己。

My First TIme.

I was undergoing a series of female exam lately. Thanks to Australian's government for the medical benefit as most of all I have them free. Firstly, TPU (Transvaginal Pelvis Ultrasound) which involves the insertion of the transducer into the v*gin* (*blush*) and it was performed professionally by a MALE doctor with a nurse's witness. The process is emm...arrgg...grrr...ok, lotsa jelly, uncovered and precise but after all, it's quite all right for me.

I had appointment with my family doctor to discuss the diagnosis's result early at 9 this morning. It's a beautiful spring morning, and like usual, I followed the path cross over the nursery home, yellowish flowers field, lavender bush, and certainly friendly old folks to the main road.

Back to my diagnosis result, I was told my right ovary is polycystic in appearance. On the other hand, my right ovary contains up to 7 peripheral follicles. Therefore I need to undergo another blood test for my hormone tomorrow.

God bless me, my ovary and fertility. Amen.

Malaysian food sick

Eventually I tasted the most authentic Malaysian cuisine in Melbourne. Laksa king located at a hidden mall in Flemington which is hardly to be noticed, was surprisingly full house. We need to wait for about 10 minutes before seated, and there was still people coming in every few minutes. I was craving for Chendol but too bad the 'cendol' was running out and I finally had a Iced Red Bean ($3.80) and Fish Head noodles ($10.90) while Chris had a 'Har Mee' aka prawn noodles ($9.90).



The food tasted fantastic, amazingly delicious and genuinely malaysian oriented. I must admit I'm not a chinese (those from china mainland) food fan and quite sick of their food and maybe their people too. Even malaysian restaurant didn't cook genuine malaysian cuisine to suit those ang mo's appetite. Anyway, Laksa King brought me to the food's heaven in Melbourne. Thumbs up!

Who moved my Tim Tam?

ijI always am a grumpy girl or best known as 'ngiao ji' to certain people or things. Somehow I assume that I'm holding own principals firmly but anyway, I seldom voice out my disatisfactions and expose my 'ngiao ji'-ness blunt and apparent.
From the case 'who moved my Tim Tam', I admitted completely that I'm A BIT (only) ngiao ji. Simply like someone who never bought her own food who ate my only, solely TIm Tam that I thought was safely kept in the pantry. I didn't know why I was so immesed into the sea of ngiao ji-ness. (crap, she is eating the another half of MY Tim Tam now, I can hear it). Maybe due to she never bought her own food, and she acted totally, absolutely comfortable when we paid the bills when dined out.
I was always told and reminded to share among people but this time I really can't help.I was so devastated to be bothered by this unpleasant feeling for whole day yesterday and I guess today as well. Crap!

Food Safari

I crave for pancake every Thursday, maybe due to I free to have own style lunch on Thursday and Friday. Today I made a cream cheese pancake with red bean spread and fast forwarding watching korean drama. And I learning scarf tie-ing technique, which wong called only lunatic will do that. huak him!

not much thoughts today. Just want to update blog for wong's viewing pleasure. :-)

Before it's too late

One thing that I'm anxious about every festival is the Petronas Advertisement. Late Yasmin Ahmad, a name which shone up incredibly and implausibly by her Petronas advertisement direcetd them all. However, I missed the Petronas Chinese New Year advertisement this year. Don't piss off, just youtube-ing it. Heart-sinking, griefing, hoping it's not too late to love my parents from this seconds.

And another one just simply moved and touched my heart.

The one I loved most. Isn't it our children's duty from God to give our parents all our love, full heart and soul? Nothing to question about, it's all bout love.

生活语录

有一晚临睡前，
Chris （横躺在床上，双眼没有焦点的瞪着天花板）：其实，我小时候有很多梦想，现在还在想的。
Jen ：噢？是什么来的？
Chris ：我想成为灌篮高手！
Jen ：你还可以的。
Chris : 我还想做秋明山车神。
Jen：（结果把R4撞下6尺深的水里）
Chris：我最伟大的梦想是。。。。
做一个超级赛亚人。
Jen：。。。。。。。。。Zzzzzzzzzzz
三十岁的人偶尔有着十三岁的心灵。莞尔。。

疲惫

今天，很消沉，想必是讨厌的荷尔蒙在作祟。

想起为什么许多事都不长久，相信自己很努力的去珍惜许多人和事，为什么却不能得到同等的对待。

输在外在条件，可是我很努力的去弥补了，为什么世界还是容不下我，哪怕是给我 0.0000000000001mm 的位置也好。

其实我不是一个很贪心的人，我算是很自足的了，但为什么，大多数的时候，一丁点的期望，却都让我失望万分，于是，我已经不敢奢望， 永远不敢了。在什么时候，期待什么人的出现，就算我拿出百份之两百的诚意又如何，却让我千倍万倍的黯然神伤。所以，是不是不该再爱你们？可是，一觉醒来，我却象得了失亿症似的，忘了所有的伤心失望。有人说，这样才是幸福的，但是，我深深的体会明白，内心的我却在抽泣，歇斯底里的在呐喊。

亲爱的你们，我不要谎言，我不要隐蔽，我只要一颗真心，不需要你们做什么。 难道这样的要求也很过分吗？我珍惜你们，所以不断的寻求你们，但是我不是圣人，我会心灵疲惫的。

走走走走走，我们小手拉小手，走走走走走，一同去郊游

今天天气真好，暖暖的太阳，温柔的春风。在热带国家活了27年的我一向来不喜欢太阳，如今却爱上了寒日里暖和的阳光，伴着一丝微风，百般诱惑我出去走走。然而，孤独的我还是放弃了。Laundry 里的洗衣机在轰隆隆的转洗衣物，我还是做家务去吧。待会儿好好奖励自己一盘美味的penne rigate.

当你想起我

给我一整天 一个人沉默
最难下的决定 往往是最对的
没错 那些话 那些事 还在心里出没
承认吧 我们的明天却没有下落

在温暖的大晴天忧郁，站在50尺高的大楼嘲笑自己，把玩回忆。
承认了，是自己不愿相信结束， 虽然心里清楚明白明天确实无迹可寻。
放弃了，也忘了身边还有许多更值得爱的人。

曾经以为 幸福垂手可得
当爱一旦被挥霍
反而让人更寂寞

天真让我相信幸福垂手可得，以为可以任性挥霍。
原来爱情如果要长久，付出和接受还是要平衡。
有缺陷的爱情，是怎样也无法完全，再多的炙热，也熄灭不了相煎的泪水，

有天当你想起我
时间已摆平所有犯的错
也学会不再追问为什么
但至少我们必须都快乐
直到那么一天
面对爱情开始吝啬
会不会怀念 曾有的炙热

有一天，如果有一天，你想起了我，
也许画面已模糊，更不会点算过去的对错是非。
也只有这样，忘了曾经的伤害和补偿不了的遗憾，你会是快乐的，是幸福的。
然而，经过岁月的洗涤，仍隐隐作痛的伤痕，让我不得不吝啬的面对捉摸不定的爱情。
不再相信永恒，不再相信开花结果，不再。。。。。。。

可是 当你想起我
我们早已经失去了联络
一路上经过各自的曲折
才明白最现实的是生活
直到那么一天
选某个人相濡以沫
会不会后悔
现在的非走不可

可是，多年后，可能你偶尔会想起我，
我平静而又小心翼翼的生活着， 和你的生活早已没交集了。
现实和生活悄悄的在脸上堆上皱纹，抹去了眼中憧憬的神采。
直到遇上了相濡以沫的那个他，执子之手到老。
对你，没有后悔，只是心存感激。

呢喃

不经意的又想起了奶奶。您好吗？是不是遇上了许多老朋友？

想起永恩，我可爱的外甥，从你出生一年又四个月，阿姨我才见你两次面。你喜欢什么玩具，阿姨给你买去。

想起远方的亲人，想起曾经拥有的好朋友，想起自己很珍惜的，却感觉渐渐失去的。想起一个人的我，孤独，渺小的在这宇宙存在着。

在这寒冷的冬天，是继续让自己沉淀还是升华。风，在头顶呼呼刮过，刮来了一大片的阴霾。搭上了耳机，我不想多想。

准许自己这一刻回头看，只是这一刻钟，过了，就要拥抱当下。

Specially dedicated to Jia- Cream Cracker Cake

This is the recipe which my mum learned from her friend and all my family can make it

(except my dad). Once of a while my friends liked to hinted me to make this cake but I'm

lazy. :-P However, a uni's senior commented it's the cake for the poor and refused to taste

it. Huak her!!!!! I think Jia knew who she is. Anyway, enjoy.

Ingredients A:
1) 1 tin of Luncheon meat (shredded with fork)
2) 500g of onion (finely chopped)
3) soy source or char siew source

Ingredients B:
1) cream crackers
2) 1 tin of evaporated milk
3) 8 eggs

Utensils:
square steam container

Methods:
1) Stir fry ingredients A and seasoned and put aside.

2) Whisk the eggs and mix with the evaporated milk.

3) Soak 27 pcs of cream crackers (assume that the container can fit 9 pcs of
crackers per layer, we need to make it three layers) into the mixture 2. Watch up
so that the crackers won't become too soft.

4) Put a layer of the crackers and following by the half of the stuffing 1 on top of
it. Following by the 2nd layer of crackers and the remanding stuffing 1. And
lastly put the 3rd layer of the crackers on the top.

5) Pour the mixture 2 into the cake.

6) When the cake has absorbed the mixture of eggs and milk, steam the cake for 45
minutes.

Happy Trying!!!!!

hundred weeps

Hundred times I watched it, hundred times I weep. Good to you, Paul. Humble man with extraordinary voice.

Don't weep for she has gone, smile for she has been

You look so beautiful that day, sleeping peacefully just like you were taking nap . Thank you for what you have done and what you have given.
Sleep soundly, grandmum, I won't interuupt you from your nap anymore, thanks God for no more pain on you.
Good Bye, grandmum.

This is me, Obasan Jen

Finally, I have guts to blog. XD
When I was mixing the chicken coating and preparing for the dinner, I decide I NEED TO BLOG instead of surfing for recipes only whenever online. About my obasan life here, Yeah, I', totally obasan aka 'yellow face aunt'who didn't wash her face until 10am, wearing baggy shirts which are belong to my husband, long nails and long fringe, shedding tears when watching the korean drama ( I used to hate this before but thing changed since...u know when, dont you?), nagging to Chris for not doing single housework while he is too busy to have a severe battle with PSP and only word he told me before he aslept is 'your finger smells garlie.'
Life is miserable, isn't it? Waiting unemployedly and having financial crisis here. At least I start with blogging. Wake up, Jen. At least put a mask on ur face once a week and go comb ur hair and put on ur b*a NOW..
See ya.

Time to say good bye

Good bye those i loved in Malaysia. Love you all.
Heard the song 'Isabella' and remind me of Voon and those happy moments i had in MLNG.
Good bye.