My First TIme.

I was undergoing a series of female exam lately. Thanks to Australian's government for the medical benefit as most of all I have them free. Firstly, TPU (Transvaginal Pelvis Ultrasound) which involves the insertion of the transducer into the v*gin* (*blush*) and it was performed professionally by a MALE doctor with a nurse's witness. The process is emm...arrgg...grrr...ok, lotsa jelly, uncovered and precise but after all, it's quite all right for me.

I had appointment with my family doctor to discuss the diagnosis's result early at 9 this morning. It's a beautiful spring morning, and like usual, I followed the path cross over the nursery home, yellowish flowers field, lavender bush, and certainly friendly old folks to the main road.

Back to my diagnosis result, I was told my right ovary is polycystic in appearance. On the other hand, my right ovary contains up to 7 peripheral follicles. Therefore I need to undergo another blood test for my hormone tomorrow.

God bless me, my ovary and fertility. Amen.

Malaysian food sick

Eventually I tasted the most authentic Malaysian cuisine in Melbourne. Laksa king located at a hidden mall in Flemington which is hardly to be noticed, was surprisingly full house. We need to wait for about 10 minutes before seated, and there was still people coming in every few minutes. I was craving for Chendol but too bad the 'cendol' was running out and I finally had a Iced Red Bean ($3.80) and Fish Head noodles ($10.90) while Chris had a 'Har Mee' aka prawn noodles ($9.90).



The food tasted fantastic, amazingly delicious and genuinely malaysian oriented. I must admit I'm not a chinese (those from china mainland) food fan and quite sick of their food and maybe their people too. Even malaysian restaurant didn't cook genuine malaysian cuisine to suit those ang mo's appetite. Anyway, Laksa King brought me to the food's heaven in Melbourne. Thumbs up!

Who moved my Tim Tam?

ijI always am a grumpy girl or best known as 'ngiao ji' to certain people or things. Somehow I assume that I'm holding own principals firmly but anyway, I seldom voice out my disatisfactions and expose my 'ngiao ji'-ness blunt and apparent.
From the case 'who moved my Tim Tam', I admitted completely that I'm A BIT (only) ngiao ji. Simply like someone who never bought her own food who ate my only, solely TIm Tam that I thought was safely kept in the pantry. I didn't know why I was so immesed into the sea of ngiao ji-ness. (crap, she is eating the another half of MY Tim Tam now, I can hear it). Maybe due to she never bought her own food, and she acted totally, absolutely comfortable when we paid the bills when dined out.
I was always told and reminded to share among people but this time I really can't help.I was so devastated to be bothered by this unpleasant feeling for whole day yesterday and I guess today as well. Crap!

Food Safari

I crave for pancake every Thursday, maybe due to I free to have own style lunch on Thursday and Friday. Today I made a cream cheese pancake with red bean spread and fast forwarding watching korean drama. And I learning scarf tie-ing technique, which wong called only lunatic will do that. huak him!

not much thoughts today. Just want to update blog for wong's viewing pleasure. :-)

Before it's too late

One thing that I'm anxious about every festival is the Petronas Advertisement. Late Yasmin Ahmad, a name which shone up incredibly and implausibly by her Petronas advertisement direcetd them all. However, I missed the Petronas Chinese New Year advertisement this year. Don't piss off, just youtube-ing it. Heart-sinking, griefing, hoping it's not too late to love my parents from this seconds.

And another one just simply moved and touched my heart.

The one I loved most. Isn't it our children's duty from God to give our parents all our love, full heart and soul? Nothing to question about, it's all bout love.

生活语录

有一晚临睡前，
Chris （横躺在床上，双眼没有焦点的瞪着天花板）：其实，我小时候有很多梦想，现在还在想的。
Jen ：噢？是什么来的？
Chris ：我想成为灌篮高手！
Jen ：你还可以的。
Chris : 我还想做秋明山车神。
Jen：（结果把R4撞下6尺深的水里）
Chris：我最伟大的梦想是。。。。
做一个超级赛亚人。
Jen：。。。。。。。。。Zzzzzzzzzzz
三十岁的人偶尔有着十三岁的心灵。莞尔。。

疲惫

今天，很消沉，想必是讨厌的荷尔蒙在作祟。

想起为什么许多事都不长久，相信自己很努力的去珍惜许多人和事，为什么却不能得到同等的对待。

输在外在条件，可是我很努力的去弥补了，为什么世界还是容不下我，哪怕是给我 0.0000000000001mm 的位置也好。

其实我不是一个很贪心的人，我算是很自足的了，但为什么，大多数的时候，一丁点的期望，却都让我失望万分，于是，我已经不敢奢望， 永远不敢了。在什么时候，期待什么人的出现，就算我拿出百份之两百的诚意又如何，却让我千倍万倍的黯然神伤。所以，是不是不该再爱你们？可是，一觉醒来，我却象得了失亿症似的，忘了所有的伤心失望。有人说，这样才是幸福的，但是，我深深的体会明白，内心的我却在抽泣，歇斯底里的在呐喊。

亲爱的你们，我不要谎言，我不要隐蔽，我只要一颗真心，不需要你们做什么。 难道这样的要求也很过分吗？我珍惜你们，所以不断的寻求你们，但是我不是圣人，我会心灵疲惫的。

走走走走走，我们小手拉小手，走走走走走，一同去郊游

今天天气真好，暖暖的太阳，温柔的春风。在热带国家活了27年的我一向来不喜欢太阳，如今却爱上了寒日里暖和的阳光，伴着一丝微风，百般诱惑我出去走走。然而，孤独的我还是放弃了。Laundry 里的洗衣机在轰隆隆的转洗衣物，我还是做家务去吧。待会儿好好奖励自己一盘美味的penne rigate.

当你想起我

给我一整天 一个人沉默
最难下的决定 往往是最对的
没错 那些话 那些事 还在心里出没
承认吧 我们的明天却没有下落

在温暖的大晴天忧郁，站在50尺高的大楼嘲笑自己，把玩回忆。
承认了，是自己不愿相信结束， 虽然心里清楚明白明天确实无迹可寻。
放弃了，也忘了身边还有许多更值得爱的人。

曾经以为 幸福垂手可得
当爱一旦被挥霍
反而让人更寂寞

天真让我相信幸福垂手可得，以为可以任性挥霍。
原来爱情如果要长久，付出和接受还是要平衡。
有缺陷的爱情，是怎样也无法完全，再多的炙热，也熄灭不了相煎的泪水，

有天当你想起我
时间已摆平所有犯的错
也学会不再追问为什么
但至少我们必须都快乐
直到那么一天
面对爱情开始吝啬
会不会怀念 曾有的炙热

有一天，如果有一天，你想起了我，
也许画面已模糊，更不会点算过去的对错是非。
也只有这样，忘了曾经的伤害和补偿不了的遗憾，你会是快乐的，是幸福的。
然而，经过岁月的洗涤，仍隐隐作痛的伤痕，让我不得不吝啬的面对捉摸不定的爱情。
不再相信永恒，不再相信开花结果，不再。。。。。。。

可是 当你想起我
我们早已经失去了联络
一路上经过各自的曲折
才明白最现实的是生活
直到那么一天
选某个人相濡以沫
会不会后悔
现在的非走不可

可是，多年后，可能你偶尔会想起我，
我平静而又小心翼翼的生活着， 和你的生活早已没交集了。
现实和生活悄悄的在脸上堆上皱纹，抹去了眼中憧憬的神采。
直到遇上了相濡以沫的那个他，执子之手到老。
对你，没有后悔，只是心存感激。

呢喃

不经意的又想起了奶奶。您好吗？是不是遇上了许多老朋友？

想起永恩，我可爱的外甥，从你出生一年又四个月，阿姨我才见你两次面。你喜欢什么玩具，阿姨给你买去。

想起远方的亲人，想起曾经拥有的好朋友，想起自己很珍惜的，却感觉渐渐失去的。想起一个人的我，孤独，渺小的在这宇宙存在着。

在这寒冷的冬天，是继续让自己沉淀还是升华。风，在头顶呼呼刮过，刮来了一大片的阴霾。搭上了耳机，我不想多想。

准许自己这一刻回头看，只是这一刻钟，过了，就要拥抱当下。